• archive •

saturday, february 8, 2025

i sit. i wait. i watch the snow fall.

there’s a lot of work to be done. there’s a lot that is going to change.

but I’ll still be me. I’ll always be me.

but maybe I’ll change.. a little bit? maybe i already have? probably. hm. that’s a thought for later.

soon enough, the air won’t be cold against my face. there won’t be snow on the ground. at least not on the ground below my feet.

i can’t wait for the sunshine. the warm air.

i can’t wait to wear my favorite dresses again.

in this moment.. i physically feel grounded. my little world is so quiet on this saturday evening. i wanted to go out tonight.. my last free weekend in new york. but the snow keeps me inside. sipping my tea. doing my work.

but, despite the quiet around me.. my mind is rushing.. like the sea during a storm. waves swelling and crashing and receding.. and then crashing all over again. over and over. i like the storm.

now obviously i won’t swim during a storm.. but being in the ocean on a hot and sunny day.. i like the feeling of swimming around in the waves. feeling the earth’s energy move me. its invigorating. it’s exciting.

this is an exciting time.

the waves will settle soon. they’ll settle when i see them with my own eyes. and feel the sun on my skin. they’ll settle when i arrive in san diego.

i’ve accepted a contract at UCSD health.

i leave new york next monday, north toward vermont.

and i leave vermont the following weekend, heading west.

i found a place to live. six blocks from the beach.

but.. there’s a lot of work still to be done.

• currently •

monday, february 17, 2025

the little house is new york is packed up. my whole life is packed into my car.

i leave new york today.

i’m impressed it all fit. i didn’t do it alone, though. taylor helped me. he’s been incredibly supportive and delightful company while i’ve been in new york.

right now, the sky is blue. the sun is shining. the wind is howling. the air is cold. but fresh.

right now, it is impossible not to feel weird.

right now, i can’t even write a conclusion. it doesn’t feel right. because it doesn’t actually feel like anything is ending. just changing.

..or maybe because i just can’t wait to get out of the cold.

talk soon? call me on my drive.