things have been weird lately. things are always gonna be weird. things are always gonna be changing. but lately, it feels like i’ve been caught in a whirlwind. it’s fitting though, i’ve never been one for stagnancy.

at the beginning of august, a few days before my 26th birthday, i rode my bike to the very end of the burlington bike path.. the very end of the colchester causeway.. if you don’t know, it’s an old rail road route turned into a gravel biking path that extends out into lake champlain. with the adirondacks on your left, and the green mountains on your right, it’s a beautiful place to bike to. the path ends, and there is a rock wall. you can climb down onto a slab that rests just a few inches above the water. and right there is a nice place to sit. and think. and reflect.

the reason i chose to ride out there on that day was intentional.. about four years prior, a few days before my 22nd birthday, my mom and i visited burlington together. a few days before that, i had accepted my first nursing job at the university of vermont medical center, and subsequently signed a lease on a cute little apartment in winooski. and a few days before that, i had passed the nclex (the nursing board licensure exam). given that it was the summer of 2020, there wasn’t a whole lot to do in the public. but we both like biking and being outside anyway, so it was a perfect way to spend the day together. it was a warm, summer day.. sunny and bright. i remember feeling so happy, so blissful, so content. i had passed my exam, i had accepted a job, and i was excited to move to a new state and start my adult life. it was just the beginning. and it was a beautiful time spent with my mom.

and so, at the beginning of august this year, i sat at the end of the bike path, alone this time, missing my mom ofc, but thankful nonetheless to be out in that beautiful place. and i started to reflect and journal.. on the first time i was ever there at the end of the causeway, and everything that had happened since then in this wonderful place i have called my home for almost four years.

and i thought about all the love, the joy, the happiness i have felt over the last four years, all the friends i have made—those who are still here in vermont, and those who have left to live in other places. i also thought about the periods of sadness, loneliness, and heartbreak i have felt too. would we ever know how good the good can be, without the alternatives to balance it out?

i then started to think about the future. this point in my thinking and journaling that day was challenging and complex. sparing the details.. the moral is something i’ve known for some time now.. i’m ready to leave vermont. for now.

and so, i’ve left from my sweet home in the south end of burlington that i’ve lived in for three years (i’ve included some of my favorite pics from there below), moved over half of my material possessions into storage, and i have moved in with my friend brendan in south burlington. he owns a nice little apartment in a quaint and quiet neighborhood. i’ve settled in nicely here. my bedroom is set up, and i really like how it looks (pics below). for the foreseeable future, this is home. but i do still wanna to leave.. (read on).

i had spent august doing the things i love to do in burlington: biking to yoga, skating on the bike path, skating at the skate parks, getting dressed up and going for walks and running errands around town, getting treats from my favorite cafes, sitting on my stoop reading, studying.. and on my birthday, i got dinner and drinks with friends. it was really sweet.

and now, i still do the same things. but, from my new home, it all just seems to take a little bit more planning.

so, on that day when i was sitting at the end of the bike path, reflecting, thinking, journaling, i thought more about how i’m ready for something new. a change of pace. a new place. i reflected on how i have the skills and knowledge and experience to be an icu travel nurse. so now, i’m in the process of pursuing travel nursing. it’s not news.. my friends and my coworkers all know. and if you didn’t know, now you do too.

i want to go to new york city for my first assignment. i want to live in brooklyn. it’s proving to be a bit more challenging to get a contract than i thought it would be.. but i persist. i know that is the place i want to be for this next season of my life. “one contract, thirteen weeks, in and out.” and after that.. i wanna be somewhere warm for the winter. that’s a conversation for later though.

though i don’t yet have a plan, i’ll certainly share when i do. and until i do, i’ll still be in the SICU at UVMMC. i really do love it there. and it will be tough to leave. but.. i’m ready.

through all this, between moving, and working, and continuing to do the things that fuel my soul and bring me joy, i have been studying for the critical care RN certification exam.. the CCRN.

and i am very pleased and proud to announce that i passed my exam today. it was hard. but i did it. (and if you’re reading this.. you know who you are.. you can certainly do it too).

so that’s what i’ve been up to. i’ve been busy. i’ve been happy. i’ve been sad. i’ve cried a lot (about all sorts of things.. though it’s always been cathartic.). i’ve been active. i’ve been moving. i’ve been taking care of me. i’ve been stoking my passions and dedicating myself to amplifying my nursing career.

it’s bittersweet, the idea of leaving this beautiful state, and a job that i love, and people that i love. but, at least for the foreseeable future, it’s still gonna the place i get to come home to.

cheers to success and prosperity in this season, and the next one, and the one after that.

signed, with love,
– kt irl, RN, BSN, CCRN

♡ ♡ ♡

oh! and today is a new moon!